וְלֹ֥א אָבָ֖ה לִשְׁמֹ֣עַ בְּקוֹלָ֑הּ וַיֶּחֱזַ֤ק מִמֶּ֙נָּה֙ וַיְעַנֶּ֔הָ וַיִּשְׁכַּ֖ב אֹתָֽהּ׃
אָבער ער האָט ניט געװאָלט צוהערן צו איר קָול, און ער האָט זי איבערגעשטאַרקט, און האָט זי געפּײַניקט, און איז געלעגן מיט איר.
Sforno
ותדבק נפשו, this was the opposite of Amnon having raped Tamar whose infatuation with her turned to disgust the moment he had satisfied his biological urge. (Samuel II 13,14-16)
English Explanation of Pirkei Avot
All love that depends on a something, [when the] thing ceases, [the] love ceases; and [all love] that does not depend on anything, will never cease.
What is an example of love that depended on a something? Such was the love of Amnon for Tamar.
And what is an example of love that did not depend on anything? Such was the love of David and Jonathan.
The previous mishnah was the last mishnah that was based on numbers. The mishnah which we learn today teaches about love.
Love which is based on something tangible, such as beauty or financial gain, will not last. Since “things” can end, when the “thing” upon which the love is based does end, the love will end. Such was the love of Amnon for Tamar, which is better described as lust than love. The story takes place in II Samuel 13. Amnon falls in love with his beautiful half-sister, Tamar. Once he rapes her (verse 14) her beauty and lack of accessibility are gone and he hates her.
The love of David and Jonathan is opposite. Jonathan, son of Saul, loved David with all of his soul (see I Samuel 18:1) and indeed tried to save his life when Saul sought to kill David, even though David was a threat to his father’s crown, as well as his own right to inherit the kingship. David too loved Jonathan despite his own inevitable rivalry with him. Their love was not based on any sexual relationship nor was it based on a gain that one would receive from the other. It was as the love of a parent for a child, totally unconditional.
What is an example of love that depended on a something? Such was the love of Amnon for Tamar.
And what is an example of love that did not depend on anything? Such was the love of David and Jonathan.
The previous mishnah was the last mishnah that was based on numbers. The mishnah which we learn today teaches about love.
Love which is based on something tangible, such as beauty or financial gain, will not last. Since “things” can end, when the “thing” upon which the love is based does end, the love will end. Such was the love of Amnon for Tamar, which is better described as lust than love. The story takes place in II Samuel 13. Amnon falls in love with his beautiful half-sister, Tamar. Once he rapes her (verse 14) her beauty and lack of accessibility are gone and he hates her.
The love of David and Jonathan is opposite. Jonathan, son of Saul, loved David with all of his soul (see I Samuel 18:1) and indeed tried to save his life when Saul sought to kill David, even though David was a threat to his father’s crown, as well as his own right to inherit the kingship. David too loved Jonathan despite his own inevitable rivalry with him. Their love was not based on any sexual relationship nor was it based on a gain that one would receive from the other. It was as the love of a parent for a child, totally unconditional.